But it's over now (but it's over now)

Go on and take a bow.

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Far away,

long ago

things I yern to remember

and a song someone sings

Once upon a December.

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went for the gala of *The Days* last week! and i guess it was like fiona said; so many conflicting emotions about the show that im not really that sure how i really found it. lol! one interesting thing tho,

MY NAME IS ON THE CREDITS OMGADFIUDVIULSBVDS.

whahahhas! ok so i know, i helped out a total of only just ONE DAY. but hey, it's still cool right. lol. so yeah! i'd really encourage everyone to watch it, be it to support friends acting in it (ADORA WONG AND IVAN LIM), to support the crew (our fellow TP alumni and current students), or just to enjoy a good documenteral (yes i know theres no such word lol) peek into the lives of gangsters from a past age, it's worth the $6.50, or $9.50, or whatever they charge nowadays. =) i'd say that these are a group of people that have made local filmmakers all over Singapore proud.

so CONGRATS to Boi Kwong, director of THE DAYS, the cast and crew, and a huge thanks to April, for granting me the privilege of being on set, and also to all the friends and people i've met during the production, i'd say your hard work really paid off. =)

smashing soundtrack too. =D

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rest of my week was spent pretty much bumming ard (probably the reason to how i managed to come up with that incredibly long wordy no-one-read post) lol. went to several meetings, went back to school once? got to send karen off again (its a sad thing), and spent the weekend with churchies! whahahs. sent albert's cell off on sat and played touch rugby on sunday.

on this super muddy field LOL. ok, mayB not muddy, but a more grimy. eee. whhaas. but i tell you it was the funnest please. lol eventhoughimsuperunfitnow. BUT YAH. been centuries since i played sports with the church people, or with anyone else for that matter lol. hoorah to more games. =) lol!

sooo. yeah to sum it all up, last week was a emo one, but abide2time and church uplifted my spirits again. =)

we were talking a bit about how right now with karen gone again there's only 7 of us left, but several years down the road, cheryl will be gone, jer's going, then mich, and then me. which leaves (if my skills in math dont fail me) 3. Three. lol. =(

sigh. i guess that's how life is, we grow up, we move out. new friends become old ones. though, i dont think that i actually have older friends than i do in abide2, but yyyeah. I guess one thing this group can look forward to is that be in 5, 6 or even 10 years or smth down the road, we'll be playing tgt again for the glory of God. heh. =D

SO YAH. THERES NORMAL BLOG POST FOR YOU SIR. xD lol

This week's gonna be pretty much the same as the last, even right down to the day canyoubelieveit lol! going to the gala for MAMAMIA 2mr NIGHTT!! ISVNSILLIBSDVSDBBSVOMGBBQWTHSDJVNSJKVSV LOL. CANT WAIT. dad says mrpresident is gonna be there so must wear nice nice. =S

thing is.. it's before my hongkong trip, and

beforeHKtrip = NO CLOTHES

so. im in kneedeepshit now. lol. ahwell. i'll figure smth out. so till nxt time!

xoxo

gossipgirl

LOL I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT.

but ya. ok. -.-

thnxbye. xD LOL

i KILL you!

2nd time im posting part of a book up on the net (sure hope i dont get sued or smth). um. please dont read it if you have smth better to do. but if not, i'd suggest a quick glace through, coz after you've done that you'd probably actually want to read it through once more. It's just a short passage about..

Life.
i guess. -.-
simple stuff, nth too complex, but it'll probably leave you with smth to ponder about. =)

enjoy.

The Alchemist pg127-132 by Paulo Coelho

They crossed the desert for another two days in silence. The alchemist had become much more cautious, because they were approaching the area where the most violent battles were being waged. As they moved along, the boy tried to listen to his heart.

It was not easy to do; in earlier times, his heart had always been ready to tell its story, but lately that wasn't true. There had been times when his heart spent hours telling of its sadness, and at other times it became so emotional over the desert sunrise that the boy had to hide his tears. His heart beat fastest when it spoke to the boy of treasure, and more slowly when the boy stared entranced at the endless horizons of the desert. But his heart was never quiet, even when the boy and the alchemist had fallen into silence.

"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?" the boy asked, when they had made camp that day.

"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."

"But my heart is agitated," the boy said. "It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it's become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I'm thinking about her."

"Well, that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say."

During the next three days, the two travelers passed by a number of armed tribesmen, and saw others on the horizon. The boy's heart began to speak of fear. It told him stories it had heard from the Soul of the World, stories of men who sought to find their treasure and never succeeded. Sometimes it frightened the boy with the idea that he might not find his treasure, or that he might die there in the desert. At other times, it told the boy that it was satisfied: it had found love and riches.

"My heart is a traitor," the boy said to the alchemist, when they had paused to rest the horses. "It doesn't want me to go on."

"That makes sense," the alchemist answered. "Naturally it's afraid that, in pursuing your dream, you might lose everything you've won."

"Well, then, why should I listen to my heart?"

"Because you will never again be able to keep it quiet. Even if you pretend not to have heard what it tells you, it will always be there inside you, repeating to you what you're thinking about life and about the world."

"You mean I should listen, even if it's treasonous?"

"Treason is a blow that comes unexpectedly. If you know your heart well, it will never be able to do that to you. Because you'll know its dreams and wishes, and will know how to deal with them.

"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow."

The boy continued to listen to his heart as they crossed the desert. He came to understand its dodges and tricks, and to accept it as it was. He lost his fear, and forgot about his need to go back to the oasis, because, one afternoon, his heart told him that it was happy. "Even though I complain sometimes," it said, "it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."

"Every second of the search is an encounter with God," the boy told his heart. "When I have been truly searching for my treasure, every day has been luminous, because I've known that every hour was a part of the dream that I would find it. When I have been truly searching for my treasure, I've discovered things along the way that I never would have seen had I not had the courage to try things that seemed impossible for a shepherd to achieve."

So his heart was quiet for an entire afternoon. That night, the boy slept deeply, and, when he awoke, his heart began to tell him things that came from the Soul of the World. It said that all people who are happy have God within them. And that happiness could be found in a grain of sand from the desert, as the alchemist had said. Because a grain of sand is a moment of creation, and the universe has taken millions of years to create it. "Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him," his heart said. "We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their destinies, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.

"So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts."

"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.

"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."

From then on, the boy understood his heart. He asked it, please, never to stop speaking to him. He asked that, when he wandered far from his dreams, his heart press him and sound the alarm. The boy swore that, every time he heard the alarm, he would heed its message.

That night, he told all of this to the alchemist. And the alchemist understood that the boy's heart had returned to the Soul of the World.

"So what should I do now?" the boy asked.

"Continue in the direction of the Pyramids," said the alchemist. "And continue to pay heed to the omens. Your heart is still capable of showing you where the treasure is."

"Is that the one thing I still needed to know?"

"No," the alchemist answered. "What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.'

"Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victor's being severely tested."

The boy remembered an old proverb from his country. It said that the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn.

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Sure brings a whole new meaning to the term "follow your heart" eh. lol.

so.. yeah. reason why i chose to actually put this up is coz i've been talking to a few people recently, dont know how we actually got to it, but somehow conversations i've been having with people over the past few days have been about the heart,

(not heart as in, bloodpumping-keepingyoualive kindda heart, but more like. the lovey dovey inside you smth like ur soul, kindda heart)

about dreams, wishes, goals, love lost and love gained.
People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer," the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."

Sometimes we choose to do things that's easier, safer. but will it really make everything better in the end? no one wants to be hurt (again). but is the fear of suffering really worse than the suffering itself?

im beginning to think so.

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Believe or not, TOMU, (yes that's me im just talking in 3rd person coz i think its cool)

has been watching Gossip Girl

one whole frikin season of it LOL. ok before you start suanning me, actually try watching it urself please. LOL. it's pretty woah woah okay. -.- whahas.
ok i mean, if you look at it from another perspective, its the same as most other dramas, with a few more interesting elements thrown in.
and if i reallllyyy wanna be bitchy about it? i'd say, its exactly the same as the OC, cept, with a bitchy narrator. =S

the narrator concept of which i feel was already made widely popular (not from citizen kane weirdly lol but) probably from other dramas, like desperate housewives, in which in that aspect it was one of their dead neightbours. anddd.. grey's anatomy which if i may say so myself has brought me close to tears (dont laugh it's probably had the same effect one you bleh) many many times b4.

Gossip Girl, on the other hand, brings forth the true cruelty of it all i guess, the voice (Kristen Bell, who is uber hawt too) i feel is perfectly casted, and the dialogue never fails to amuse me.

i.e
Gossip Girl: This just in: S and B committing a crime of fashion. five-finger discount. Who doesn't love a five-finger discount. Especially if it's the middle one.

so apart from the bitch of a v/o, its like this, so far, its been about mostly rich (and good looking) people falling in love with other rich (and other good looking) people, and one of them falling in love instead with this other (not so rich and good looking) guy. but along the way things start to get complicated with the intro of this guy's past crush from back in the times he didnt hang out with the richer people.

sounds familiar? (or did it even make sense?) =S

but YAH LAH. okay. i have to admit, although its pretty much a chic flick fan's fantasycometrue, it DOES get loads better as the episodes progress. The plot's smart, the girls are hawt (as in woah woah hawt), the clothes are expensive, the guys are cool and there really are those OH. MY. GAWDDDDD moments lol. (and of course the really sad ones)

so.. what exactly izit that attracts people to shows like that?

im guessing its probably one of the two things, or both. I'm either we really like how cool everything is (face it, one kiss in the movies ALWAYS solves everything), or how we can sometimes actually.. well, relate to things that happen.

i guess there's smth in GG for everyone, if you're not the popular kind, then you'd relate to dan and jenny, but then if you are, then i guess you'd relate to everyone else. lol. there's smth for the adults too, coz i guess it gives a lil insight into how teens lead their lives (or at least how we want to) and not forgetting the display of how screwed up adult life can actually be.

butt.. yeah. i guess in the end all our lives are a tad bit dramatic in their own ways.
ask my friends. -.-
lol, life.. is really sometimes lonesome without people, but on the other hand it might just sometimes be too complicated with. lol. like everyone else in the "upper east side", im guessing all we're really looking for is love, eh? to love and to be loved, be it whether its a guy or girl, or with friends. we dont want to complications, we dont want the pain, and we dont want the drama. we. just. want. to. bloody. be. happy. -.-

lol. but think about it. imagine gossip girl, without the bitch of a narrator, without the drama, without the hurt and pain. -.- it'll be, like..
i duno.

i wanted to say fairytale, but even humpty dumpty bloody died. (and they just HAD to king's men and horses not be able to fix him) -.- more exciting i guess. -.-

yeah, so. it'd be boring. take S and B for example, they're supposed to be best friends, but they get into these huge killeachothernoremorse kindda fights; fights of which if they didnt get into, they'd probably not be so close.

talk about things we can relate to eh? i guess life puts us to the test whereever we go and whatever we do. and people have been so aware of it they're even making shows to prove the point, but i guess at the end of it all, we gotta know, that God has a plan. a plan for all of us, and that as long as we believe in this plan and put our faith his hand, then it will be okay.

"What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up. It's the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one 'dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon.'

so while we're on this point on life and all,

through the past 20 years, i've hurt alot of people. and have been hurt pretty much myself too. to those that i have, i wanna say that it's smth i never meant to do, and even if i did mean it (we all have our darker times right?), i always go home regretting it. im sorry.

the world has hit me back though, that you can be sure of. ironically, the same way i've hurt people. before, actually. =S
lol. ok probably no one knows what im talking about. -.- so don't worry if you dont too. LOL.

i just miss the times where things were simpler you know?
sure, back then we'd think WAHHH life sucks, so drama, so much shit's happening. and im sure i'll probably think that way about the times when i was still 20 too,
but.. yeah.
life was simpler back then.

"cause you always saw in me,
all the best that i could be."

lol. i'll never forget the times too. =)

i promise i will start posting proper blog entries again soon.



TOMU

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